Max Cool Time Travel
If scientists eventually figure out time travel, I reckon I’ll use it more for mundane occurrences, than for big stuff. For example, I would go back to Tuesday last week and stop myself from foolishly putting this block of cream cheese in the freezer. What makes this occurrence particularly annoying is that I knew that…
Locked Up
It was my first year at Uni. My friend, Penelope (obviously not her real name because which Nigerian parents name their child Penelope? ‘Penelope’ is currently married with a kid so it felt right to change her name) and I had decided to go see a movie with our current beaus, Mohammed and Rotimi. They…
Children- The How (Part 2.)
So now that you have chosen to have children. How do you want to have them? Yes, there is more than one way and this, in my opinion, should be a choice as well. I love Gabrielle Union-Wade, I really do, but I’ve been reading about what she went through trying to have children by her…
Children- The Why
I have been thinking for a while now that we need to open up the child rearing conversation. We need to take it as a thing and critically dissect all aspects of the ‘project’, as a friend of mine recently referred to it. First off, especially in these parts (I write from Lagos, Nigeria), we…
Finding Authentic
I recently left my 9- 5 so I could read a novel all day, and not feel guilty. I consider myself to be on a journey to find authenticity, and this is my yardstick, my measure; I will know I have reached my destination when I read a novel in the middle of the day-…
She
Photo by ‘Dania She. Resplendent. Delicate. Powerful. She. Terrifying in her majesty. She. The clouds, the wind, the earth- they align for her. She dances a still dance before them. She. Those who know, know that she is not unhelped. They see beneath her surface to His all-powerful hands keeping her rooted. She. When she…
What to wear, what to wear
The other day, I had an important meeting with a potential client and in between going over my thoughts for their space (it was an interior styling pitch), it occurred to me that I had no idea what to wear. As trivial a problem as this might seem, it was a genuine one. Having just recently…
Freedom Lives Here
I remember a feeling of freedom from when I was younger. Not like I did not have any troubles- there were crushes to be had, and boarding school scandals to deal with- but it was never heavy; never more than what it was- a crush on a yellow boy, or punishment from a senior to…
Perfect
Photo by Afoma Umesi Perfect. That’s what they are; in that time, in that moment. Forever. Whatever state they are, in whichever season- winter, summer, spring, autumn, dry, rainy. They change with the seasons, and whatever they become with each season is beautiful and perfect, for that season. Because it is not about them in…
Demon Angel
(May 2016) My every encounter with you leaves me bruised Needing to heal all over again Sometimes it’s intended, sometimes it isn’t Perhaps it’s not multiple wounds, but just the one The one which has refused to heal But is constantly covered up by dead skin Every encounter with you, peeling off the dead skin…
Why
“I do not know that I want to have children.” I will always remember the look on his face when I said this to him, that first day we met- part awe, part…something. Something being a mix of crestfallen (because, otherwise, you’re perfect), and wary (because, what horror stories does this one have that she…
Truth
“I didn’t believe you yesterday.” She handed him the glass – whisky, one ice cube away from being neat- and folded herself neatly beside him on the grey couch. The smoke from the cigar he cradled between his right index and middle fingers swirled up and away, as if running from the uncomfortableness of…
Heavy
I was a heavy heart to carry, my beloved was weighed down -Florence + The Machine …
Write
(to the beat of an Aṣíkò) “Write.” Why, because you think it would be about you? “Write.” What do you imagine? That I would express deep words of affection that I’m unable to say to your face? “Write.” Is this what you think? “Write.” What you expect? “Write.” What you want? “Write.” What about, exactly?…
Closer Than You Know
Ahh Jesus, babe. We’re here; about to do this. I want to open my soul so you can see inside. I have all of this…this…thing that I want to give you. It’s rich and big and full and beautiful. I want to give you all at once and all forever. My heart is full. Like,…
Of Healing and Staying Healed
You’re healed. You’re eating again, smiling again, taking pleasure in the little things; even glowing. Your friends say you’re glowing. Books are interesting again, Music is rhythmic again. Love is desired again, and no longer banished forever. These days when you laugh, no sorrow falls out. But out of the blue he texts you. Something…
Bystanding Bystanders
25th August, 201110, Adebambo Street, Surulere, Lagos8:05pm It had been such a good day.At first when she’d come, there had been the initial awkwardness, but that soon dissipated in the comfortability of their easy conversation. The kiss this time didn’t feel as strange as the first few times; as if their lips had finally come to…
Love Is
Hey Guys, So this is the last piece in the Return Mail II pie :) Thank you to all the writers for sending in their pieces. This literally wouldn’t have happened without you guys. My piece is a tad long. Okay, not a tad, more like a lot. But hey, I’m going to take the…
Because
Lol. Where to start? As it is doing me? How is it doing me? “I will love you faithfully, forever unconditionally…” You make promises and then you break them. Always. Forever. Like you control life. No matter what. Through it all; Like you even know what that means. Or maybe you do. But you don’t…
This Means War
Me: I really cannot stand a long distance relationship. I can’t stand being unable to touch the one I love. You: I feel like you think of me as an object, like the only times I feel like we are connected is when you touch me. You: How can you stay so long without talking to me?…
Made To Love You
I wanna know what love is I want you to show me I wanna feel what Love is I know you can show me… I have loved not once, not twice, but it never felt this right. This is different. This is special. This is an I-hate-how-much-I-love-you kinda love. It’s love with no boundaries, love…
Return Mail II: Intro
Hey Guys, As with its predecessor, Return Mail II sort of just happened. I don’t need to say much by way of introduction because the same rules, methodology and almost everything else from last year apply. Here’s a link to that intro: Return Mail: The Intro Ten of us wrote last year, but this year…
Alabaster Box
I love you Lord You make me strong I’m so grateful for your love More than anything in my life, I’m grateful for our relationship Just knowing that there’s that safe place that’s always got me That I can crawl into your lap even when I don’t understand That you find ways to make every…
Man Of My Dreams
Her yellow sun dress swished lightly as she sat at her desk. Thoughtfully, she selected her weapons of choice; a black pen and a plain white note pad. There would be nothing flowery about what she was about to do. Pen poised, she stared at the blank sheet and waited for the beginning to come…
Nimble
I’ve just had an epiphany; I cannot marry him. I cannot marry him because he says ‘nimble’. ‘Nimble’ as opposed to ‘nibble’ (e.g “Would you like proper dinner, or just something you can nimble on?”) I’m afraid that if I go on ahead and marry him, a few years down the line when he’s stopped…
Return Mail: Happy Ending
Hey Baby, Guess what I’m doing? Well, you don’t have to guess. I’m writing you a letter. Duh. ‘Why?’ you’re wondering. I have no idea. I could very email you or text you or something or a kiss smiley would pretty convey everything this letter will only in fewer words. The thing is, I love…
Return Mail: 6519; 10491
“Love is patient…” I’m sorry, but yeah how about I say fuck that. It’s been almost a year of waiting, hoping, that someday you would be here and we would both drink in the same air. A year of waiting for the opportunity to look into your eyes and search your pupils for the imprint…
Return Mail: Boy Scout
Dear, I’d probably never write you anything moving. There was a time I could though – a time I could promise you the world and mean it and then dig my hand in my backpack like a good boy scout but come up empty handed. That time, I loved like I was told that I…
Return Mail: Yours Imperfectly
Nkemdinobi’m, I have my mother’s eyes. No, not the same color, nor the same shape. But I don’t cry. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. As a child I thought it was a good thing. They always called me a brave young boy who never flinched when taking his shots…
Return Mail: This Place
Easy. That’s this place that we’ve come to. Although if you think about it, we’ve kinda always been easy. Settling into each other and flowing seemingly seamlessly. Comfortable is another word I would use to describe this place, but the word has sort of become associated with old, married boring couples, and that we’re not.…
Return Mail: Hold My Hand
Temi, My own. I always said I was going to call the person I get married to Temi. The reason was because I didn’t want to ‘share’ the name. Didn’t want to ‘prostitute’ my name (for want of a better word). But this name? It’s yours. I’m sure. It’s how the name was yours before…
Return Mail: Scrape-Scrape-Scrape
I remember you saying it, but I didn’t listen to you. I was caught up in your beauty, and your fragrance, and the sweet smell of your blood, that I never realised how I was killing myself, for you. You said it so many times, “lions are meant for cages, to look at, exclaim, fantasize…
Return Mail: Grudgingly Yours
I don’t believe there are good humans; I think we are all innately evil. I don’t believe in charity, I think it’s done for self-exultation. It makes you feel good about yourself, doesn’t it? I don’t believe there’s true altruism. I don’t believe you can be happy forever. I don’t believe there’s much hope for…
Return Mail: I Knew
Dearest Kanyinsola, Lol. I’ve always wanted to write those words side by side. Funny how I’m only just doing it for the first time after almost one year. Ok, ok, so let me start this all over again. Hey B :) I know, I know… But technically, ‘B’ isn’t the same as ‘Babe’ right? :D…
Return Mail: Li’l Thing ;)
Hey Bubu, Remember that love letter you wrote me, on paper with ink, which I took EVERYWHERE with me like a lucky charm (until the day my heart shattered)? Well, I always planned to retaliate & here’s my chance. I should have written this a lot sooner but…who knew this’s where we’d be today. I…
Return Mail: El Muerte Amor
Love? What do I really know about love? Not much, apparently. OK maybe not apparently… Evidently. OK, OK, maybe not evidently… Definitely. Yeah. Definitely. But I think I know one thing; Falling in love is in many ways, similar to dying. Most of the time, you don’t know when it will happen, it just does. In…
Return Mail: Dear Love
Dear love, Fuck you. First of all. Cupid? Really? No, really? You entrust your affairs to the hands of a be-diapered infant with an arrow in his hands? You musta lost your goddamn mind. What actually is your game plan? No tell me. Seriously. You start out…interesting. I mean you’re fun and quirky and different.…
Return Mail
I’m excited!!! Okay, not ‘three exclamation marks excited’. Maybe two or one. Ah well, what does it matter. I read a ‘love letter’ the other day that was…nice. Properly constructed, with nice-sounding rhymes, words, etc. But for some reason, it didn’t get to me. Felt quite alien. After re-reading, I realised the problem; the letter…
My Perfection
Some people find it in tall, dark and handsome; Some others, in father figures. To the deprived girl, the one with the fattest of pockets; And to the needy one, the jealous one. * I’ve found it in you; In the way your eyes light u when I show up And in the hard cushion…
You
I Like: Male Watches. Statement Necklaces. Quirky Jewelry. Romance Writing. RomComs. The Colour Brown. Seeing Arsenal Win. Writing (sometimes). Ellen. Cooking. The Colour Orange. Ice Cream. Quaint Apartments. Interior Design. Faded Ripped Jeans. Slouchy Tees. Scuffed Sneakers. Messy Hair. Afros. Your Hair. Music. Your Taste In Music. Cuddling. Goes Without Saying. Candid Photographs. Big Sunglasses.…
no Fancy Words or Flowery Speak (4): Fluke
It’s been over a month since I’ve been here. Ib is certainly getting tired of me. She’s trying not to show it, God bless her beautiful soul, but there’s only so much moping one human being can take from another. Heck, even I, am tired of me. She has tried to get me to go…
Lights That Guide You Home.
Anger. Hurt. Pain. Those have been the phases since Friday. We will talk about it. I will forgive you. Because the pain of being apart from you is more than I can take. But will I forget that you have not fought for me? Maybe I’m a dreamer who believes in fairytales and watched one…
no Fancy Words or Flowery Speak (3): Flight!
Final boarding call for… Hendilaha stood. Black turtle neck, black loafers with a black cardigan draped over her right hand, she was a picture of quiet strength. She was wearing minimal makeup on her fresh face and her long, full black hair was pulled back into a loose knot at the nape of her neck.…
no Fancy Words or Flowery Speak (2): Beef and Regrets
Once I’d made the decision to leave, everything else was easy. Sorting out tickets, visa…being a famous author (albeit an apparent one hit wonder) certainly had its merits. What’s weird is how I feel little or no attachment to this place. Almost as if my mind has chosen to block out a number of things…and…
no Fancy Words or Flowery Speak (1): Jacks Are Better
…Day 4… ‘Jacks are better’ What does that even mean? Isn’t Jack somebody’s name first, before being whiskey? Advertising has always been such a funny form of art. I’m in my spot at the corner of the bar. The one that faces the aforementioned ‘Jacks Are Better’ poster. Laptop and blackberry plugged in. Glass of…
no Fancy Words or Flowery Speak.
I remember when I started blogging in February 2011. I sort of stumbled into it (read the full account here) but I remember that it was very exciting. I mean, I put up posts every other day or so. At some point, a friend of mine advised me to slow down so that people would…
Well.You know h…
Well.You know how you need to make a call but somehow, things keep getting in the way or you keep putting it off, and then the longer it takes, the more awkward it will be when/if you eventually make the call?Yeah. That.This is awkward.*observes awkward moment**awkward moment over*So.I came across something on another blog the…
Inexplicable
You said I made you smile. That your cheesy smile that made you look nineteen. God, I miss that smile. You said I did inexplicable things to your insides. I.N.E.X.P.L.I.C.A.B.L.E. I remember how I loved the way that sounded at the time. Now I wish you had explained; I should have forced you to explain.…
Always. Always.
Hello. I would apologise for my prolonged absence, but seeing as I cannot say that I’m back, I think I shall hold off on the apologies. I took a break from writing and everything else for the Christmas holiday and it appears that my ‘inspiration’ hasn’t gotten the resumption memo yet. I’m sure my recent…
The Audacity To Breathe
Hey Guys, Happy New Year! Or not. We’re all aware of our government’s attempt to ruin the new year for us and the recent protests happening all over the country. The views expressed in this piece The Audacity To Breathe mostly summarize my thoughts on the issue. Please take out time to read, share and…
This Is Me
Happy Holidays people! I would apologise for not writing in a while but seeing as I don’t plan on writing anytime soon (its Christmas yo!) I won’t. I do have a couple of posts lined up (some from guests, others from my archives) so I’ll be putting them up from time to time. Meanwhile, you…
The Single Story: Tell Me.
This one is written by my soulsister, the beautiful (of looks and of pen) ‘Pemi Aguda (@UberBetty). ******************************* You’ve probably lost someone before. By lost, I mean to death. You’ve probably lost someone to death before. Can you tell me how it works? Can you tell me what to say? Please tell me what to…
Homecoming
Another one for me. But then which one of me? I’m not sure; the lines have become blurred. Journey into integration and self discovery? Or gradual descent into abhorred normalcy? Enjoy. ******************* You need to find me. This mind is bursting at the seams with conversations unhad, fights unfought, and lies untold. Why do you…
Dear Mr. President
Dear Mr. President, You need to light up Nigeria already! When will you understand that Nigeria will NEVER be able to compete with other nations without power? That steady power supply drives everything? That Nigerian students will never be able to compete on a global scale when they’re stuck studying obsolete text books by candle…
The Single Story: Friday, 29th July
Hey People. Good weekend I’m sure? The second installment in the Single Story series is finally here (took me long enough, I know!). If you don’t know about the series, read the intro hereThe Single Story (Intro) and the first installment here The Single Story: My Name Is Asad Also I’ve recently found myself dabbling…
The Valse Of Death
Amidst the crowd, their eyes locked Amidst the chatter, their minds talked Dance with me, she invited. And even though his hands were full, There was no way in hell he could refuse The song was one they’d heard before The style was one they’d won prizes for But as their hands came together, Their…
Judging George.
Hey Guys. I know, I know. But I’ve been mega busy, what with a new city and landlords and teaching and CDS… I do have stories in my head and will put them down and post soon enough. In the meantime, you can catch some of my work here: Dania on Daily Times …
Birthday Blues
This piece was written by my friend, the prolific ‘Jibola Lawal. Its beauty is not in the story itself but in its telling; it reads like a peaceful flowing river with gentle waves. Enjoy. What’s your earliest memory? I don’t know how it’s possible that anyone can remember that far back with such clarity. But…
Long Goodbye
“I love you.” We are snuggled on the couch in my living room. My favourite love songs collection is playing on the stereo and he is whispering sweet nothings in my ear in between songs. These are my favorite moments: when we sit and just be. I smile. “That’s kind.” I feel his smile. I…
Ayomikun
Based on a true story. Sade could not sit still. She just could not. She had a good feeling about this one. This was it; she was finally pregnant. Her hitherto punctual, albeit annoying, period was late by two weeks. Earlier in the day, she had driven into the pharmacy on her way home from…
Children Obey Your Parents.
Hey guys. The second installment in the Single Story Series is coming up pretty soon. Click The Single Story: My Name is Asad to read the first one and The Single Story (Intro) to read the introduction of the series. The story below is not a true story but it is based on a true…
The Single Story: My Name is Asad
I am excited. But I am sad too. I am excited and sad. Today, Mama, Amina, Ayana and I make the journey out of this place. Amina and Ayana are my sisters. Amina is six and Ayana is three. I like Ayana more than I like Amina. Amina doesn’t respect me but Ayanna does. Like…
The Single Story (Intro)
Hey Guys. So. There seems to be a ‘series’ trend going round blogsville. Well I couldn’t carry last now could I? A whole ‘Dania? Mba nu. Seriously though. I am starting a series. It is called ‘The Single Story’. And no it wasn’t birthed out of my desire to not carry last.…
The Things I’m Not Allowed To Say But I’ll Go On Ahead And Say Them Anyway Because, What Do You Know, It’s My Mouth. Or My Fingers More Like.
Of course it’s a rant, what was your first clue? The title? Or the fact that I’ve just spent three weeks in a refugee camp? Oh sorry did I say refugee? I meant refugee. Sigh. Where to begin…where to begin? Perhaps I should start by telling you how we’re expected to drop irons, water heaters,…
Why Won’t You Protect Me?
Okay people, first things first: Happy Birthday to ME!!!! So. That said. If you like what you see on this here blog, Please nominate and subsequently vote for Chronicles of Dania in the Nigerian Blog Awards by taking time out to fill the nomination form here http://www.nigerianblogawards.com/register.php Please remember to fill in the blog…
To The Corner
He smiled. She froze. She knew that smile; knew what was coming. “Go to the corner.” As she dragged her feet to the corner of the spacious moderately furnished living room, she let out a heavy sigh and tried to remember a time when things had been different. She couldn’t. Not really. She sank to…
My Precious Little Munchkins
Still full of mush and things. Please bear with me, it shall pass. Hello my precious munchkins. It’s 2011 and just so you know I’m risking my cool status (yes o, your mama was like the coolest in her day) to write this. At this time everyone’s complaining that too many bloggers are…
BareNaked.
The cool night breeze blew across her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled. She could smell it coming. She started twisting her waist slowly to the beat of the Konga. She doesn’t remember much of the childhood. Maybe because there is not much to remember. She remembers a bit of the teenage years though.…
Yackity Yackity Yack.
Arrgggggggggg!!!! Arrrghhhhhhhhh!!! *deep breaths* *angry high pitched wailing* Where the hell am i? And what are these…these…things? Is this how they look like here? How big and ugly! Oh crap! I thought I was too big to stay there but I’d gladly go back now. I want to go back! Few minutes later, after she’d…
BRING IT ON.
Go on; open up that bottle of Veuve Clicquot. Pour yourself a glass. No, not that thin-stemmed sissy champagne flute. The long wide tumbler. Now take a nice long sip. Close your eyes. Relax. Let the rich sour taste sink in. That’s it, there you go. Ignore the flashing red indicator light of your blackberry.…
PERHAPS?
My first official post on WordPress. Took me long enough. No it’s not a story. Some of you will be offended (I recommend Sprite) Some of you will be amused. When you’re done with all of that, perhaps you can set aside all that emotion and reason with me? Perhaps? I have never laid claim…
KILL ME. NOW.
>Hey Guys,Two things:1) It is with heaviness in my heart and deep sadness that i make this announcement. I have given in. I have sold out. I’m moving my blog to WordPress :'( I was hoping to hit a particular number of page views before i moved but…Blogger served me well but WordPress is more…
The Smart Kids.
>Okay, lets talk politics.It doesn’t matter if you don’t take an interest in politics; politics will take an interest in you.-Pericles For about 3 months, I’ve listened to (and made) various comments on all the politics going on in the country (Nigeria) at the moment. Twitter has a way of making people seem learned including…
Penthouse, Heartbreak Towers, Insecure Lane. (3)
>I saw it coming. It’s funny how they always think we don’t know. Maybe it massages their egos to think that they’re smooth, i don’t know. We may chose to let it slide and not say anything, but we know. We always do.This one was different. There’d always been others. But this one was different.…
On the Corner of 1st and Indecision. (2)
>This is the second part of No 1, Side Street, Lonely Avenue. It was written by a guest writer. Enjoy. ‘Dania.Sophia- Wisdom (Greek)Obim- My Heart (Igbo)I didn’t see it coming. I hear people say that a lot, especially when “the shit” hits the fan. I wonder why no one ever asks the question, who does see…
No 1 Side Street, Lonely Avenue. (1)
No. I will not cry. I will not cry. Open dammit! Calm down girl. Deep breath. Steady. Now slowly, pick out your key from the bunch and slide it into the keyhole. Like you do every night. Now go to the fridge, take out a beer. Okay two. Go to your room. Don’t stop, don’t…
This Life That Was Given Me.
>11:30amHin go soon come. Make i go baff, set my face. I hope say dis pancake go cover all dis marks dis time. *sigh* I taya. That last customa of yestahday, that man wicked so. I never see that kain before. And hin no wan pay extra oh after all d things hin wan make i…
*SIGH*
>06:05pm “Babe? Hey babe.” Ahh. His Voice. Still has that calming effect even after three years of being together (Two years dating, one year married).”I’m okay, you?” Lord knows i’d kill for a hug right now.”Seriously babe, I’m okay. Just had a pretty long rough day.””Yeah of course, i’ll tell you all about it when…
OLN
>So I was going through my previous posts and I realised that the last three have been pretty serious. Like seriously, why so serious?? I’m usually not a serious person like that so those posts have me worried. Very worried. Like does it mean I am now an adult? Older and wiser and things? Does…
The Noses and Horses.
>22nd August 2006.5.00pm…TICK…TICK…TICKGreen. Please God let it be green. Dear God…Tick, tick, tick…Blue.Shit.”Buife! Nwanyibuife!””Yes mum!””Are you okay? You’ve been in there for quite a while.””I’m fine mum.””Okay, I’m going to the supermarket, do you want to come along?””No mum, I’m pretty tired. I think I’ll just rest a while.””Okay, see you soon. Are you sure…
To Think is To Differ
>When I was born, my ears were pierced; I was a girl; that was the norm.Growing up, I was taught to always use my right hand. Using my left was rude.I was told that looking at someone older than you in the face was disrespectful. Of course I had to be in the science class…
I AM NOT HIM.
My name is Seun Adams. I turned 23 today and I should be excited about it but I’m not. I’m not because exactly 10 years ago today, on my 13th birthday to be precise, my life as I knew it changed. I come from a regular Christian family of five; father, mother, two siblings. I’m…
OH NO HE DIDN’T!!!
So Valentine’s day has come and gone. Is it just me or was there an unusual amount of fuss attached to it this year? If I’d gotten one more, just one more, Valentine hamper BBM broadcast I’d have smashed my blackberry. I’m sure. Even though I didn’t get a Range Rover (still can’t get over…
Welcome to my Very Own Madness.
>Oh wow so I started a blog. Interesting. Perhaps if I told you how this happened then you would understand why I think it is so.Its 2a.m, and I’m ‘Skyping’ with Irene discussing business (yes business) and then one of us (probably me but i refuse to admit it) asks the other if she’s heard…
D A N I A 