Oneirism, Verse Form

Inexplicable

You said I made you smile. That your cheesy smile that made you look nineteen. God, I miss that smile.

You said I did inexplicable things to your insides. I.N.E.X.P.L.I.C.A.B.L.E. I remember how I loved the way that sounded at the time. Now I wish you had explained; I should have forced you to explain. If you had, maybe now I’d be able to make those things happen on your insides again.

You said it was the little things. Little things like what, dammit?! The way I crinkled my fingers when I waved at you? My ‘chuckle snort’? I mean, you said that was cute. Was that it?

Remember damn you!

My hair? My distracted, stern pout? My lips? The way I said your name?

Or was it something deeper?

Did you love me because we prayed together? Or because you noticed I was kind to strangers? Was it because I could play video games?

You need to remember; so you can love me again.

I need you to remember. So that I can make you love me again.

21 thoughts on “Inexplicable”

  1. Loved this, though it was sad, i certainly can relate to this. You wonder where you went wrong, how you can get that desire for you back….sigh. lovely post.

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  2. She’s back!!! Yayness!!!

    I think the reason why I love ur blog so much is cos it almost always feels like u’r writing MY thots. Those words etched in my heart that I jst can’t write, u help me write them. Thank u.

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  3. Sigh.

    People change.
    Relationships change.
    I suppose the trick is not to remember
    The trick is not to go back but to evolve together.

    But what do I know?

    Le Dania :)

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  4. His Reply:

    I hate myself right now. I am here writing in my journal when all I want to do is wrap you around my arms and kiss you so passionately you’d raise your left leg in the air…
    The truth is this; I love myself when I’m with you. I find it difficult to do that when you’re not here. In your absence, I am haunted by a plethora of my imperfections, and how inadequate I am. I hate my Big Stomach, but when you’re here I forget about it. I hate the fact that I am bald but when you’re here, it’s all good. I hate a lot of shit about my life, but when I’m near you, all these vanish. I love you. But I can’t let you know that. I don’t know how you feel about me, and I don’t know if I’m ready to confront that. Last night, those bastards were praising him. They all rejoiced in the fact that you finally cracked and slept with one of them. It made me sad, that was the moment I realized that . I still wanted you, all of you….

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