I always said I was going to call the person I get married to Temi. The reason was because I didn’t want to ‘share’ the name. Didn’t want to ‘prostitute’ my name (for want of a better word). But this name? It’s yours. I’m sure.
It’s how the name was yours before I even knew it. Like the day I was talking to you and the name slipped out without my permission. I was quick enough to hold it in, but I knew. And you knew. What was yours was yours.
I can’t believe we’ve come this far.
But I can. I think I always knew that we’d get here. I fought and fought. Clawed and clawed at it. You asked me to leave, I didn’t. I pushed you away, time and time again(And I still do, when I get scared), you didn’t go. You’d never.
I know that this is home for me. I have always known. I haven’t always admitted, but I have always known.
“Always leave some of yourself for yourself.”
I read somewhere that this is the wise thing to do. Leave some of yourself for you, so that incase it ends, you’ll have something to hold on to.
But I didn’t. Or maybe I should say I couldn’t. Because all of me slipped away before I realised, before I could do anything about it. And even if I had known, I doubt that I’d have done anything about it I mean.
Or maybe I couldn’t leave some of me for me because all of me has always belonged to you. Before I knew.
“It was the pure language of the world. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that with no need for words, she recognised the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world”
It’s how you know. And I know. And we need no words. There’s no need to explain anything. No need to say anything.
Because we both recognise what this is, and we love it.
“Hold my hand and never leave me.”
You said this to me before. And I’m saying it to you now, afterall, your words are mine aren’t they?
But yeah, Hold my hand and never leave me.
Even when it’s hard.
Even when I make it difficult for you to love me.
Even when things get really tough and it’s easier to zone out and fix you, Stay. Stay with me so we’ll fix you together.
Even when the money comes and there’s meetings and more meetings because success is addictive, Stay.
Even when I act like I don’t need you around, stay with me still.
Stay, no matter what happens.
I’ll stay too.
And I’ll hold your hand and never leave you.
Always is the vow and always is the promise.
I love you today, I love you always.