Return Mail: Scrape-Scrape-Scrape

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I remember you saying it, but I didn’t listen to you. I was caught up in your beauty, and your fragrance, and the sweet smell of your blood, that I never realised how I was killing myself, for you.

You said it so many times, “lions are meant for cages, to look at, exclaim, fantasize and walk away. You dare not let them walk around you, or move them into your house, I mean, they bite”

I paced around my cage in my private moments, thinking about what I could do to make this beautiful woman love me. Not the sort of love you told me you had, from the other side of my cage, but a love such as I had been scared to accept from anyone before. I refused to accept that I was just for your entertainment, for your squeals of delight, to show off to your friends and listen to their collective oohs and aahs.

My friends tried to warn me too, but who were they? What did they know about situations like this? A love so strong between a woman and a lion? “Its never ended well” they said. “She’s never going to truly love you. Love isn’t what lions do. Lions are mysterious, they’re different from everyone and that makes them entertaining. But they’re dangerous too, and she knows that. You don’t love them, because they’ll hurt you. She knows that. Everybody knows that.”

If that’s what it means, I don’t want to be a lion anymore.” I thought to myself. “I’m not good enough for her, this goddess. Ill work on myself. I can’t be a lion anymore. I don’t want to hurt the love of my life. I’d kill myself a hundred times before I let my primal insticts cause her pain”

So I got to work. I scrape-scrape-scraped at my mane. Rolled myself in the mud, made it wet, and scrape-scrape-scraped again. This mane, this symbol of my heritage, it sickened me. I couldn’t bear to look at it in the water anymore. I scrape-scrape-scraped it all off. What a sight I must have been to my friends. Trying so hard to change myself. I struck my paws against the stones until I bled, one by one I broke off all my claws. Howling from the pain, but with joy in my heart, for once my lover saw me, shed know I would never hurt her again..
I stopped eating meat, for all flesh reminded me of the potential harm I could accidentally cause you, if I didn’t get myself in check. I trained myself. Ate grass, fish, wood, if other animals can do it, why can’t I?

When I heard you were here again, my heart leapt. Finally! Finally my lover would see me and believe me. All the times we spent together, all the things you told me, all the good times, secrets we shared, finally you would see me and allow yourself to Love me the way I hoped you would. I’d made all these changes and I just wanted you to see how much I was willing to change for you, how much I loved you, somehow I felt that would be enough..

Its been months now, since your final rejection. and I’m healing, I guess I should thank you, for if I didn’t get my heart shattered into a million pieces, suffer from the pain of Love unrequited, I wouldn’t have learnt to appreciate myself for who and what I am. My shortcomings, My oddities, My Strength. I would never have understood the futility in trying to deny who I am, for now I know that true love can only work between two people who appreciate who they and their partners are.

Thank you.

—-(@JCphoenixx)

Return Mail (The Intro)

Return Mail (Bonus Post: Dear Love)

Return Mail (El Muerte Amor by @TTXIII)

Return Mail (Li’l Thing by @Anniefertiti)

Return Mail (I Knew by @TheToolsman)

Return Mail (Grudgingly Yours by @UberBetty)

Return Mail (Hold My Hand by @ritzyliciousme)

Return Mail (This Place by @Ms_Dania)

Return Mail (Yours Imperfectly by @The_Daywalker)

Return Mail (Boy Scout by @ xoAFRO)

Return Mail (6519; 10491)

Return Mail (Happy Ending by @Cuntosaur)

24 responses to “Return Mail: Scrape-Scrape-Scrape”

  1. The Alchemist Avatar

    It is well.

    Like

    1. frankices Avatar

      Even in the well.

      Like

  2. Liathano Avatar
    Liathano

    Wow…I didn’t know

    Like

  3. frankices Avatar

    I liked this. Woman and lion/Pencil and sharpener thingy. (Y)

    But being the semi-conditional optimist that I sometimes am, I’ll say this: Anything can (Miracles) happen.

    Like

  4. awizii Avatar
    awizii

    Man between this and “The Love Letters” on TNC, there’s more real life on canvas here than anything I’ve read in a long time.

    Like

  5. immortalteddybear Avatar

    DEEEEEP

    Fucking hell. So deep

    Like

  6. 0latoxic Avatar

    And the moral of the story is: Be you, There’s someone for everyone.

    Splendid writing, Felix. Splendid.

    Like

  7. Return Mail: This Place | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

    Like

  8. Return Mail: Hold My Hand | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] ← Return Mail: Scrape-Scrape-Scrape Return Mail: This Place → […]

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  9. Return Mail: Yours Imperfectly | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

    Like

  10. Nugwa Avatar

    After Ada and victor’s stories, this is my best. Probably because its my story too. And as my friend told me… “Without your flaws you’re not you”

    Like

  11. Jk_McDazzles Avatar
    Jk_McDazzles

    Wow…Painful.

    Like

  12. Return Mail: Boy Scout | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

    Like

  13. Return Mail: 6519; 10491 | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  14. slimsiren Avatar

    I love this.

    This might be the only love story this season that ‘entered’. The rest just seem like pretty words. Even mine.

    Lol, I didn’t know you could write like this. I love, love this.

    Like

    1. JCphoenix Avatar

      Heyyy, thanks :)

      Like

  15. Return Mail: Happy Ending | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  16. Return Mail: Grudgingly Yours | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] ← Return Mail: I Knew Return Mail: Scrape-Scrape-Scrape → […]

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  17. Return Mail: I Knew | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  18. Return Mail: Li’l Thing ;) | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  19. Return Mail: El Muerte Amor | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  20. Return Mail: Dear Love | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  21. Return Mail | Chronicles of Dania Avatar

    […] Return Mail (Scrape-Scrape-Scrape by @JCphoenixx) […]

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  22. idsleek Avatar
    idsleek

    Lol…i keep coming back to read this post….Wow!

    Like

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